“He's the worst clown ever.”

“He's got the worst luck.”

“But he's a fantastic kisser!”

Whispers buzzed backstage minutes before they started filming the TV show. Distracted stagehands walked by, listening to their earpieces. I was listening to the gossip.

“Did he go to clown college?”

“He got kicked out.”

“Maybe he wasn't funny enough.”

“Maybe he was too unlucky!”

The stagehands continued ignoring us, until I told the gossipers there was fresh cake in the waiting room. “That cake is for our guest,” one young stage manager said firmly, “and you will treat him with respect.”