Making Partner

Written by Nick Andreychuk

“This is boring,” Suzie Shaw said to her boyfriend.

Next to her in the front seat of his car, Dan Cartman rolled his eyes. “I told you a million times that this wouldn’t be a date, and that stakeouts aren’t as cool as the cop shows make them seem. But remember, you insisted on coming along anyway.”

Suzie sighed. “I know, I know.” She smiled and playfully punched his arm. “But I couldn’t let you sit out here on the mean streets of Dullsville, Florida by yourself.”

Dan and Suzie were parked at the side of the road in a nondescript suburban neighborhood on a warm summer’s night. At 7:00 p.m., all was quiet, save for the occasional jogger, baby walker or dog walker.

Suzie snuggled up to him. “I know a way we could pass the time.”

“This isn’t about passing the time,” Dan said. “I can’t let you distract me. This is the first case my dad’s let me handle on my own. I can’t blow it.”

“I’m just teasing.” Suzie settled back into her own seat. “So tell me again why the police haven’t caught this house robber.”

“They claim they don’t have any leads. Our client, Mrs. Krantz -- the first victim, a widow who had thousands of dollars worth of jewelry stolen -- insists it’s a guy named Mike Creighton who lives in the neighborhood, and she’s hired us to prove it. Mrs. Krantz says she’s kept her eye on him ever since he moved in.”

“Maybe she’s just lonely.”

“Maybe, but ... uh ...”

A pretty blonde girl jogged toward the car, distracting Dan. And much to Suzie’s annoyance, Dan jumped out to talk to the jogger. Suzie’s window was open, so she eavesdropped on their conversation.

“Excuse me,” Dan said.

The jogger stopped and gave him a flirtatious smile. “Hi,” she said. “I’m Jill. Are you stalking me or just trying to get my phone number?”

“What? Stalking? I, uh--”

“I’ve seen you sitting in your car every night this week ...”

“Oh, that, well, I’m a private detective and--”

Jill smiled. “Oh, how exciting! Are you on a stakeout?”

Dan grinned ear to ear, loving the attention. “Yes, I’m here--”

“With his girlfriend,” Suzie said loudly as she exited the car and joined them.

Jill gave Suzie a dismissive glance. “I hear there’s been a series of robberies in the neighborhood,” she said to Dan. She touched his muscular arm briefly. “But I feel much safer now that you’re on the case.”

Dan cleared his throat, uncomfortable under Suzie’s piercing stare. “Aren’t you worried that your home will be robbed while you’re out jogging?”

“No, I have a roommate.”

“Have you seen anything suspicious while jogging?”

“No, the only thing I noticed-- ” Jill smirked at Suzie, “was you watching me.”

“I, uh, had to make sure you weren’t the robber,” Dan said.

“Look at me,” she said. Jill raised her arms up to focus Dan’s attention on her small, formfitting clothes and her tan, bare skin.

“Don’t even think about asking him to do a strip search,” Suzie said.

Jill gave her that annoying smirk again. “Not tonight.” She turned back to Dan, “But maybe next time. See you around, detective man.” She jogged away.

Dan watched her go and was rewarded with a not-so-playful punch in the arm from Suzie.

“Ow! I had to observe her,” he said. “She could have done something suspicious.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Seriously. There’s definitely a connection between the walkers and joggers and the crimes. Everyone who’s been hit was out of their house for a short period of time and never went more than a few blocks away on foot.”

“Does Mrs. Krantz jog?” Suzie asked.

“No, she walks her poodle, and ... there she is!”

Suzie turned in the direction Dan pointed.

Mrs. Krantz spotted them, too, and approached rapidly. “Any leads, young man?” she asked.

“Nothing yet,” Dan said, “but I am, er, watching, a few people other than Creighton.” He nodded his head at Suzie. “This is my girlfriend, Suzie.”

“Hi,” said Suzie. “If you don’t mind my asking, why are you so sure this Creighton guy is the robber?”

“He’s new to the neighborhood,” Mrs. Krantz said, “and he’s been out walking his dog every time a house was robbed.”

“So have you ...”

“Exactly! I can testify that he’s been in the vicinity of every crime. Speaking of which, I’ve got to keep moving. One of us has to catch him in the act!” And with that, Mrs. Krantz continued on her way.

“Was she implying that she thinks I can’t catch the robber?” Dan asked as he and Suzie got back into the car.

“No, I’m sure she wasn’t,” Suzie said reassuringly. “But her reasoning for fingering Creighton sounds pretty flimsy to me.”

“Yeah, but she still convinced a cop to question Creighton after the last robbery. Under her watchful eye, the cop practically strip-searched the poor guy on the sidewalk, but all he had on him was a bag of doggy doo-doo.” Dan chuckled. “Mrs. Krantz even had the cop check the dog’s mouth.”

“So why are we here again?”

“Because Mrs. Krantz paid my father,” Dan said. “And if you want me to be able to afford an engagement ring for you, my father has to make me a full partner in Cartman Investigations, not just a glorified errand boy. So you better hope we catch the real thief tonight.”

Suzie raised her arm and admired the sparkly gold bracelet she wore. “You didn’t have any problem affording my beautiful birthday present,” she said.

“I got that from a pawn shop, if you must know,” Dan said.

Suzie felt bad for embarrassing Dan, but didn’t know what to say.

After an awkward silence, Dan said, “Can you keep an eye on things? I’m going to run up the street to the gas station to use their restroom.”

“Okay, hurry back,” Suzie said.

Nothing happened while Dan was gone, and Suzie’s boredom returned. Then, just as Dan came back into sight, a woman with a double baby stroller exited a stucco house. Dan spoke to her briefly, smiled at her twin babies, and then came back to the car.

“That’s Wanda. She’s definitely not the robber,” Dan said. “Not with those two babies demanding her constant attention.”

“You sure there’ll even be another robbery tonight?” Suzie asked.

“There’s been one every Wednesday since they began, despite the added police patrols of the neighborhood.”

A little while later, Dan suddenly pointed out the open window at a man walking toward them on the sidewalk. “Hey, that’s him!”

Suzie grabbed his hand and pulled it back in. “Great P.I. you’ll make, pointing at the suspects. Real covert.”

“I--”

“Shut up and kiss me, silly. Or do you want him to think we’ve been sitting here waiting for him?”

Dan didn’t argue. As they kissed, they still watched Creighton walk by with his dog’s leash in one hand and a stinky plastic bag in the other. Once the man was a few houses away, Dan broke off the embrace. “C’mon,” he said as he opened his door, “let’s go for a romantic walk.”

They didn’t follow Creighton for long before he ducked behind some tall bushes at the side of the stucco house.

“There you go,” Suzie said, “he’s going to rob that house.”

Dan pointed at the ground through a gap in the bushes, where the dog was crouched, apparently doing its business. “Just giving his dog some privacy,” he said. “We’re going to have to circle the block or else he’ll notice us.”

They circled the block, and as they returned to the stucco house, they saw Mike Creighton heading away from them, and they also saw Mrs. Krantz walking toward them from farther up the street. At the same time, Wanda came from across the street in front of them and went back into her house.

A moment later, there came a scream from inside. Dan and Suzie hurried over. Wanda and her babies were fine, but she was on the verge of tears. “I’ve been robbed,” she said. “Someone stole my wedding ring!”

“Don’t worry,” Suzie said, “I know who took it.”