Ask Martha - The Pickpocket

Written by Robbie Cutler, Published on 2/5/2010

There I was, enjoying a cup of coffee at the Lonesome Polecat Cafe, the western themed coffee house that was Centerville’s not very adequate answer to Cheyenne. Inspector Samuels of the Centerville Police entered the swinging tavern doors, narrowed his eyes at the darkened interior and squinted my way, then came charging towards my corner table like a halfback in search of paydirt in the last quarter.

“So there you are, Crusher!” he said. “Your office said I’d find you here.”

“So I am, Inspector. Wouldn’t it be easier if you carried a cell phone, like everyone else in town?”

“Well maybe, but then I wouldn’t have any excuse to settle in here for a morning break and have a cup of coffee. As you are doing now.”

Sally the waitress sidled over, took his coffee order, brought a steaming mug, and left.

“Is this a case for Crusher Davis or Ask Martha?” (In other words, do you want my help directly, or do I use my advice to the lovelorn column in the Chronicle to get clues?)

“You decide, Crusher. It’s that rash of thefts we’ve been having recently. There seems to be a pattern developing. I think we are dealing with a pickpocket. Maybe some of your readers would have noticed something, if you could survey them carefully. Or perhaps, you could get some information that would help us solve the case. Frankly, something about it doesn’t make any sense to me.”

I trusted his instinct. “So, if Martha finds out who did it, that may make it unofficial.”

“That’s about it, yes.”

“Tell me about any recent cases.”

“Sure,” Inspector Samuels began. “On Tuesday afternoon, Sam Cartwright’s wallet was lifted when he went shopping at our Home Depot. The money was taken, but the credit cards were not touched. The wallet was found in the parking lot.”

“Sounds like the thief, if there was one, could have made more money by using the credit cards.”

“Sure, but this isn’t New York City. It’s Centerville, after all, and Sam is well known. At 6 foot 5, and 240 pounds, he is almost as big as you are, Crusher.” He added, “You know, the same thing happened to Charley Eastern at the Safeway last week. I hadn’t put it together. The difference was that he found his wallet on the floor near the checkout cashier and nothing had been taken from it. But you know how he is, almost uncoordinated. He can’t put on his trousers without knocking a lamp over! So I didn’t make anything of it.”

“Funny. Any more cases?”

“Yes, just now, Mayor Greenleaf had his wallet stolen. He was at The Elegant Jewelry Shop picking out a present for Mrs. Greenleaf for their anniversary. Same story. He checked his wallet, and it wasn’t there. It was found outside the store on the sidewalk, cash gone, everything else still in the wallet.”

“How about suspects?”

“That’s too strong a word. But four high school students were very close to where the incidents took place. They are Sarah Browne, Morris Emerson, Johnny Anderson and Tom Blankenship.”

“You mean, Inspector, that each of the four was at each one of the three incidents?”

“Yes. Well, not exactly. Sarah was at the movies when Charley Eastern was shopping at the Safeway. But Johnny Anderson and Morris Emerson were in the Safeway when it happened, and Charley says he saw Tom Blankenship leaving the Safeway exit door for the parking lot just before he left the store.”

“What about the other two incidents, when money was actually taken?”

“All four were together on a class project at The Elegant Jewelry Shop when Mayor Greenleaf was there. They were ordering an engraved pair of cuff links for Coach Johnson. He did have a great football season this year, after all - the best since you used to captain the team

“So they were all together?”

“Yes.”

“Was the Mayor wearing a jacket?”

“Yes. I know where you are going. The wallet, he said, was in the inside right pocket.”

“Were the four inside the store when he arrived?”

“Sarah, Morris and Johnny were already inside the jewelry store while Tom had been parking the car and followed the Mayor into the jewelry store.”

“Who left the jewelry store first?”

“Mayor Greenleaf did. That’s when he found his wallet on the sidewalk and called me.”

“And the Sam Cartwright theft at Home Depot?”

“He told me that he saw all four youngsters in the store when he was shopping.”

“Does he remember where they were in the store?”

“Yes. Johnny was having an argument a few aisles away with another customer, and they were pretty loud. It seems that there was only one electric sander left in stock and each wanted it. Morris went over when he heard the argument and tried to calm things down.”

“What about Sarah and Tom?”

“They were the next customers after Sam Cartwright at the checkout counter.”

“Anything else?”

“No. That’s it. And I am afraid it is pretty thin.”

“You said it. I’ll ask a few questions and try to get some answers, without anybody’s reputation being damaged.”

“Yes, Crusher, that’s the tough part. Many thanks.” He finished his coffee and left.

My “Ask Martha” column in the Chronicle the next day asked for help from high school students in solving a baffling crime wave. Many students emailed me to help. That included Sarah Browne, so I called her on my cell phone, and we met after her classes. “I’m so glad you are looking into this,” she said. “We all read your Ask Martha column, and everyone remembers when you played football here. We trust you. And frankly, the whole thing has just gone too far.”

“What? You mean these thefts?”

“Yes. The four of us thought it would be fun, and none of the money was spent, of course.”

She gave me an envelope containing the money from the wallets of Mayor Greenleaf and Sam Cartwright, carefully counted, with a paper signed by her and the other three students. “But I guess our little joke went too far. You see, we are all in drama class, and we are putting on ‘Oliver Twist’ at the high school next month. I play Nancy of course, Tom is the Artful Dodger, Morris is Fagin and Johnny is Oliver Twist. We had practiced the pickpocket scenes, and then someone had the idea, ‘Why not actually do it? It would make great publicity for our play, and we’ll give the money back on opening night!’”

“When your column came out, we saw things had already gone too far. Nobody made the connection between the play and the thefts. Anyway, I must confess, I haven’t been sleeping very well since this all began! And so our signed ‘confession’ was mailed to Inspector Samuels yesterday, before your column appeared.”

“Well, he hadn’t opened it when he talked with me. What did you confess?”

“We explained what we had done, and that we had the money to be returned immediately.”

“Fair enough. But something is missing. If all four of you took the wallets, there is no mystery. On the other hand, I think just one of your little group actually took the wallets, so the mystery then becomes - which one of the four of you was the pickpocket?”

“That’s it exactly!”

“I know who it was,” Crusher said. “And if you can get your three friends here quickly, I’ll ask Inspector Samuels to join us. Prepare for a lecture, but I’m hopeful that with Ask Martha on your side, he’ll let you off and persuade Sam Cartwright and Mayor Greenleaf not to press criminal charges. Who knows, maybe there will be a publicity angle for the play after all!”

She breathed a sigh of relief and called her three friends. “From now on, we’ll leave crime and detection to you and the police force,” she said.